Marialovespie's Journals

This Is A Tragic End And A Horrible Beginning All Thanks To This Stupid Author: Me

I like that title. idk it just came to. I think ik that from somewhere.. idk if u kno tell me..

but anyways i need something to for a week. So i might just write a fanfic since all ive been doing is Watching the second season of true blood over and over again. it gets better everytime. Eric Is sooo hot. D: i want a vampire boyfriend! FUCK! do u see what tv is doing to my brain??? Theres soo many vampire series! True Blood, Twilight series, In september theyre Gonna show the Vampire Diaries series (which is good. i read the books) Television today is poisioning the minds of little teenages making them think A Vampire boyfriend is just gonna walk into a bar, or wait outside in his shiny volvo waiting for u, or be the new kid in school who u want badly WHO ends up being a vampire with a HOTTER vampire brother. like wtf. Im sick of Hearing about vampires.

They dont exsist. Why tempt me to think they do? I mean we would all love it if a guy came up to us and showed us his fangs but come on. Dont tease us damnit!

And another thing I hate it when a guy totally hates on the series i like. WTF! im sure guys will like true blood too! Shit that whore sookie is always freaking naked! (btw i think its rated m or r)

lol. but anyways i think i should write a fanfic. idk yet. But all ik is its getting late and its getting hot and im tired and my butt hurts :[

So message me with what u think.

AND WATCH TRUE BLOOD. EVERY SUNDAY ON HBO AT 9PM EST( i think i did that right? idk)

good night everyone! Love ya alll :D

How Did We End Up Here?

I used to be that girl he called beautiful And that girl he wanted to be with. He used to be that gay i told all my friends Me and him would end up dating. Now im the girl he calls "friend" and hes the guy i call "buddy". Hes happy with his gf. Im sitting here confused and dazed. How did we end up here?

He used to call me in the middle of the night to tell me he was thinking of me. I used to send him cute pics of me, imagining him smiling when he sees it and says Wow. Now he tells me his problems and i solve them because i care deeply about him. Now im that girl he says has a "guy" personalty. Because i joke around and im not all serious. How did we end up here?

He tells me he "loves" me as a friend and its hard to explain. But i want him to tell me "i love you baby". I used to be that girl he wanted to be with. guess he found someone better. How the fuck did we end up here?

Now im over him and im moving on. Found guys im interested in and laughing at things. Hes the one confused over his gf and other girls. Slumping over what to do. He Goes to me for advice still and all i can say is "do wat u want". Hes the one i lost all my care for. and he still tries to make me care more. He tells me he loves me. and i said "i love you friend" and it makes him feel akward. I lost all feeling for him. and sometimes i cant help but think what may have happened if we were in a relationship but i shrug that thought off. Everyday he waits for me to reply to him on im. But i ignore him. I hope hes sitting there wondering "How did we end up here?"

Girls: dont let a friendship get in a way of ur feelings. TELL HIM HOW U FEEL. or ull end up like me. You will never kno what maybe happen between u and a guy frien. if u like um u like um. u cant stop urself.

Guys: Dont be an asshole. You like a girl , tell her. doesnt matter if u have a girlfriend. Guy's hints are easy to decode like a girls. Dont play games. You may never kno what may happen if u stop being a pussy and tell her.

"i used to be love drunk but now im hungover"

<3 Maria Elizabeth Depontes

Day 1 of Home sitting

ok well my sister is going away on vacation and she wants me to watch her house. I have nothing but her t.v, wii, laptop, and my cell phone to keep me occupied. sooooooo i decided to blog about it cuz imma dork. Tomorrow (or shall i say later today) im going to block island.. i have no friggin clue what it is but imma call it LEGO LAND! (inside joke) xD

So i havent blogged in like.. months. soo i bt u guys r wondering about my life. no? well imma talk about it anyways. It is fucking boring.

this summer has been nuttin but RAIN. I HATE IT!

oh and when did guys get so obsessive?? like woah buddy. take a fuckin chill pill. One of my exs.. told me he loved me... the other one told erica im the only thing that keeps him happy (i mustve dated these guys for 3 days) my other ex (who i dispise and hate with a fucking passion) asked erica how i was doing and shit. like wtf. why do guys get so obsessive about me? im just a girl. thats it. im not the nicest girl. im not the prettiest girl and my personality can suck at times. so why all the obsession??

my family coming along great (for once) liz is married and moving out soon. Karen is on new meds so shes calm now. my mom is getting better at getting used to the older me. well with me.. Im just living. Chad is pissing me off. And twinkkys a stalker. Umm.. besides that i still got the bestest friends. Which includes : vicki, lauran, erica, Erin and kendra.

OH! and erica kissed her first jew xDD its funnier from my point of view. (all day she was jumping saying she kissed a jew)

I burnt my hand straightening my hair today it fucking blows man.

OHHHHHH and i went to see AC/DC in concert. fucking awesome. I might go to cruefest with my step dad.

I need new texting buddies .. my friends take too damn long to reply. message me if u wanna text.

<3 Dazed and confused ,

Maria Madness

p.s its 3 am and i needa wake up at 7.. think i can make it? i hope so.

Woah xD

wow well i havent been on buzznet in awhile. xD its weirdddd. ehh i hate blogging about my life now. it kinda suckssss xD

well nothing has changed. rlly.. nothing has changed.

haha well im a text a holic * im getting a black berry soon!!!*

message me for number

Chapter 1: About me.

Many of you guys dont know me and well thats ok. Im maria. IM this girl who tries so hard to impress people and at the same time i couldnt give a shit. I dye my hair 50 million different colors and i dont care wat ppl have to say about it. i love art music and fun. Fun fun fun. You cant live life without fun in it. Im the type of girl no one wants to piss off but at the same time ppl always wanna be my friend. And as ppl say it im not "model" material. yuck. never WILL be either. No matter how hard i try there will always be ppl making fun of me, mocking me, trying to be me, hating me, wanting me dead, wanting me in their lives. And im kinda sick of it. if i could id wish for one of those lives u see in those shows. U know the happy family with smiles. Eating on the table together for dinner. Smiles smiles smiles. Yea right. Live isnt how ppl make it. Its either they over exaggerate or they dont tell enough. Me i think i do a lil of both. I make somethings seem soo big when its small and when its a big problem i dont speak of it at all. Why? well idk. its just me.

I come from a family where if u show too much ur a slut u show too less ur a lesbian. Yea ik. i dont like showing off my body. so i get called a lesbian alot. WHICH im not. I like men. and matthew lush :] But the people in my life that causes problems i just cant get rid of them. Why? simply because ive known um too long. like my best friend, her friends, her ex bf, and my family which arent really that bad. I seem to attract drama. i dont like drama. i HATE violence too. i rather talk it out with someone then fist to fist. I hate ppl who try to act tough or too sweet or fake. I hate fakes. I also hate lables. Im sorry but if i am a can or a bottle. please tell me cause last time i checked i was a human being. which means if i shop at Hot Topic or if i go into some "emo" or "goth" store please Shut your fucking mouth. I dont sit there watching u go into stores like "OMG! look at her shes going into HOLLISTER! wat a prep." like ok. i HAVE a life. WE ALL SHOP AT STORES. And last time i checked. Its my body, my money, my life. Dont sit there and call me things im not. Its pathetic. Yes I LOVE my hair in my eyes, and i like the color black and i shop at hot topic but thats not the only thing i do. i also wear clothes from other stores. So dont judge me and i wont judge you.

I also love it when i have a cut from my cat on my arm and ppl are just like EMO! like hellloo? u live on earth still? cuz sometimes not all ppl are emo. And i hate it the most... when a girl calls me a slut/whore/cunt/bitch etc. Its like ok u just called me a cunt? now im a vagina. yea i have one thanks for pointing it out. I can understand if a girl calls me fat, ugly, or something stupid. But i am not a slut or a hoe.

Whore- 1. A prostitute

2. A person who is considered to be sexually promiscuous

Slut- 1.a sexually promiscuous woman

2. a prostitute.

3. a slovenly, untidy person, usually a woman

Am i ANY of those things? no. do i look like i prostitute? no. I love it when they call me these names just because i always have the best come backs and they just dont see it coming. the best line i have ever used is. "Honey. i aint no slut because im a virgin. Atleast when i walk my vagina doesnt clap *clap*' XD its the best. I dont know why but i always get called that. and im pretty innocent next to the thousand sluts in my school.

I also have adhd if u didnt notice. its kinda noticable. im pretty random too. and funny :]. well that me. haha.

Sometimes things dont go as planned...

Mood: Pissed off, tired, sad, exhausted, confused, and weird. Music: Secret valentine by we the kings (good song)

kinda like how things go bad after good things happen and u dont expect it at all. no sir you dont. Sometimes the worst things happen to the best of us. I came to vent like i always do when things get bad and i have no one to talk to (yes im a loser.). But what happened really pissed me off. And ill write about florida after too. but bad things first i guess.. idk maybe it should? gah idk see how confuzzled i am? Gezzus! So let me begin with how badly this week turned out...:

So again erica never fails to make a week bad. why? well why dont u ask her? So i went to watch karen do karate thursday and this girl kayla (note who i cant stand.) , well her brother goes too. and she goes to watch him. and we were talking about schools and she was like "Oh well i got accepted to volk high. and so did erica. shes going too so me and her are gonna be like bessstttttt friends. well since ur going to new bedford high and alll..." And i got pissed off. 1. because erica never told me she got accepted. and 2. me and her were supposed to go to nbh together. So i called her and asked and she was like "yea i got accepted 2 days ago" well a normal person would be like oh kool. but im maria. and maria isnt normal. i blew up on her! she couldnt have told me? like 2 days! she waited til i found out to tell me! She NEVER fails to disappoint or piss me off. and the worst thing she couldve done was give me an explanation. like. wow. shes just really stupid! This is the reasons she told me she was going to volk:

1. "they have more of an advantage for me"

2. "they have more stuff on what i wanna be"

3."all of my siblings went there and they liked it"

4." people tell me its a great school"

5."it wouldnt make a difference if we go to different schools since ur homed schooled now and i hardly see you"

6." its not like imma get a new best friend! we'll be best friends all the time"

7."if i dont like volk ill just switch school!"

i literally sat there and was like. really? thats the best you got? ok. so to answer her reasons ill pretty much number them so u know what im talking about. ok so

1.2. umm yea new bedford high and volk have the sameeeee shit! volk makes it look prettier. and she wants to be a marine biologist. they dont have shit at volk for that! she'd have to take fucking calsses on science and shit and then do marine biology in college.

3. to tell ya the truth all of her siblings (literally ALL) who went to volk all dropped out. that tells ya alot.

4. people who dont go there make it sound great. but i know ppl who went there and had a horrible time. in volk its either your in the "in" crowd or u dont belong at the school. and its meant for A+ students not B/C students.

5. Ouch! that one actually stung a little. because to tell you the truth. i try to see her as much as possible and ya know it sucks being home schooled but i thought if me and her went to high school together we'd have a closer friendship.

6. to tell ya the truth shes wrong. With me its not omg we're best friends forever even if ur not here! eventually 4 years of high school will get to me. and ill make a best friend in high school and me and erica wont be as close. Just because i know it will. Its happen to my last best friend. I met erica and then now i have a new best friend. Just because someone has the title best friend doesnt mean shes not replaceable. Erica needs to understand i dont wanna be a loner. i want a best friend in the same high school as me. dont care how painful itll be for erica.

7. well its not that easy. itll take awhile maybe she'll miss a month of school. ik i missed 2 months of school cuz of waiting for home schooling.

what im trying to get to is my sister Vanessa started high school with friends and she was popular. Liz started high school with friends and was kinda popular to. I've been home schooled for the past 2 years. i pretty much have 2 friends from middle school. ones a guy and has a life. the other ones going to volk. who am i gonna start high school with? my invisable friend? at times like this i wish i could make a friend to go to school with me. high school isnt the toughest school but i want a friend to be there with me. erica has plenty of friends going to volk so thats not a problem for her. but at times like these i have to think unselfish because in the end everyone else only thinks of themselves. and thats how ppl down in ma are. So fucking selfish. all i do is try to be nice and give everything i got. Maybe im not that good of a friend as i thought i was.

im too exhausted from venting to write about florida. Spring break was such a peaceful place where i got to hide my imperfections and be the real me. and it would be such a waste to write at the bottom of this. kinda like throwing a princess into a bottomless hole. haha. sounded so emo right? im trying my best to sound like it.. you know for the humor? o_o guess not huh?

100 truths

1. Real name → Maria xD

002. Nickname(s)→ mia, mimi, skittles, retard, gah theres more but i forgot um

003. Zodiac sign → Pisces. xD

004. Male or female → umm idk. theyre calling me an alien haha jk. female.

005. Elementary → Best years.

006. Middle School → Kids try hard to be top notch.

007. High School → seems like paradise. (with all um hot guys)

008. Hair color → Burgandy now. Naturally black.

009. Long or short →medium :D

010. Loud or Quiet → LOUD!

011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeansss

012. Phone or Camera → Camera phone xD

013. Health freak → not really?

014. Drink or Smoke? → No.

015. Do you have a crush on someone? → kinda :D

016. Eat or Drink → Drink.

017. Piercings → none but i want some.

018. Tattoos → none.

019. Been in an airplane→no D:

020. Been in a relationship → xD yea

21. Been in a car accident → no.

022. Been in a fist fight → Yes with my best friend. haha

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → ear. i was like 4 months

024. First best friend → Torie mello.

025. First award →honor roll

026. First crush → Alex costa

028. First big vacation → havent gone on it yet. going soon tho :D

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → Erica haha

030. Last person you texted → Lauran.

031. Last person you watched a movie with → erica.

032. Last food you ate → umm soup?

033. Last movie you watched → 28 weeks later

034. Last song you listened to → Starstuck by 3OH!3

035. Last thing you bought → Alice Cullen choker

036. Last person you hugged → my mom?

FAVES:
037. Food → chicken nuggets
038. Drinks → umm. all energy drinks.

039. Clothing → hoodies!

040. Books → any vampire ones.

041. Music → umm. all rock, techno and screamo music.

042. Flower → roses

043. Colors → lime green, black, and blood red.

044. Movies→ Twilight, any horror movies, the nightmare before christmas.

045. Positions → xD omg.. next question!

046. Subjects → math art and sometimes lunch xD

IN 2008..... I've _______
(x= you've done it)
047. [] kissed in the snow
048. [X] celebrated Halloween
049. [X] had your heart broken
050. [X] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [X] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [] came out of the closet

053. [] gotten pregnant
054. [] had an abortion
055. [X] done something you've regretted
056. [X] broken a promise
057. [X] hid a secret
058. [X] pretended to be happy
059. [] met someone who changed your life
060. [X] pretended to be sick
061. [] left the country
062. [X] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [X] cried over the silliest thing
064. [X] ran a mile
065. [x] went to the beach with your friend(s)
066. [] stay single the whole year(i wish)

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → Nothing

068. Drinking → grape soda

069. I'm about to → get a life

070. Listening to → fun 107

071. Plans for today → go crazy packing a week early :D

072. Waiting for → a week to pass

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → 3 maybe.

074. Want to get married? → not really.

075. Careers in mind → csi or maybe photography?

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
076. Lips or eyes → eyes.

077. Shorter or taller? → Taller.

078. Romantic or spontaneous → kinda both. but at right timing.

079. Nice stomach or nice arms → stomache.

080. Sensitive or loud → both?

081. Hook-up or relationship → relationship////

082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → trouble makerr xD

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → yea at a concert xD

084. Ran away from home → no

085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → no

086. Killed somebody → tried xD jk

087. Broken someone's heart not that i know of?

088. Been arrested→ so close!

089. Cried when someone died → yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → not really

091. Miracles → not at all.

092. Love at first sight → no

093. Heaven → chea. thats where the partys at!

094. Santa Claus → no

095. Sex on the first date → no

096. Kiss on the first date → depends

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → no

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → No.

099. Do you believe in God → yea

100. Post as 100 truths → okies

Week 1 of fabulousnesss (and examples of why my friends a retard.)

Mood: Excited.

Music: Katy Perry- Hot n' cold. and Numa Numa by Ozone

My week is going great. Like really great. Even though my state sucks and get forced by the school system to do MCAS tomorrow, my week just got great. and it all happened with a phone call. :D. Ericas taking me to florida with her family. (which is great) And we're going to disney landddddddd. She had to choose between me and her cousin and she chose me (i already knew that duh). But i go tomorrow and thursday for mcas and then its weekend for meh. I loveeeeeeeee april. its looking great for me.

Oh and i went through ericas myspace (because i can go shit like that) and i was finding ways to tell ppl how NOT to flirt with guys and LIE to ur best friend. im not mad. it just makes her seem like shes just... looking for attention. heres parts i found hilarious. (each one is differently colored so u can know what goes where..) [READ FROM BOTTOM UP!] and of course ill be writing my comments in it. i thiknk its sad the guys she chooses >_> my comments are of course in black writing and its in these ( ). ENJOY!

hey baby before you go could you please charge your phone lol cuz i really want to text you. well goodnight and I LOVE YOU TO BABY!!! :)
( NOOO I LOVE YOU MORE PERSON I NEVER MET AND COULD BE A PEDO! :D. freakin losers)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:43 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

omg tyler....ur SO MY TEDDY BEAR now lol.
but i kinda have to get off now...i have to study for the test tomorrow im making a cake and my friend jenny is down loading shit on my new IPOD and i have to get a good nights rest.

I LOVE YOU BABE!♥♥♥

(hahahahahahaha. she stole my nickname! i gave my friend the nickname teddybear. how original!)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:40 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

and your so fucking beautiful lol
(finally he spells it right.)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:37 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

no trust me tyler u r so fuckin adorable lol.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:34 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

oh ok that will be fine lol
i can wait for you :) I have been told i was perfect but for some reason they always broke up with me lol
( XDDDDD i love hearing that!!! Those two BULLSHIT lines! I can wait for you. and ive been told i was perfect. heard um a buncha times.)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:31 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

OMG TYLER!
ur just WAY to good to be true.
u sound perfect.
but maybe after we know eachother better.
idk...i just havew to know the long distance relationship guys more since they are well long distance,
(tyler dont listen to her. she'd trade u for a volvo and a klondike bar! XD if she was to find robbert pattisons twin shed leave tyler haha)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:29 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

hey baby i never cheated on anyone in my life of having over 35 girlfriends. they were probly cheating on and i never broke up with anyone they broke up with me. I love you and there will be NO reason to cheat on you baby. None what so ever

(oh please. only 35? oh please i can tell ur still a virgin. and a loser for that matter. geesh kid. xD Yea u wouldnt cheat on her with a girl. u didnt say anything about a guy.)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:19 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

hey i promise you when i turn 16 and when i get my drivers lisince i will visit you. what happen with your last long didstance relation ship? lol do you like guys long hair? cuz people say they love mine cuz its also soft
(OH YES! i love to tug a lug on them men mmMMmmMMmmmMMM. xD haha wtf. who cares about ur stupid soft hair!My hairs like silk. so HA! Suck on them balls.)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:15 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

its hard cuz like u SO much...and fuckin distance and shit.
idk if i can have another long distance relationship.
im not good wit those.

hehe i bet u r soft...dont worry i LOVE teddybear guys lol.
(teddy bear guys? what thee fuck? did u have him stuffed or something?)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:10 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

people say they love my hugs cuz im so soft for some reason lol. Oh why is it so hard?
(no they dont. XD why is it so hard? idk u probably saw johnny depp or something. jeeesh)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:06 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

aww....ur just so easy to love.
i bet ur easy to cuddle wit to lol.
but seriously...tyler...its so hard right now.
(yea but no babies are coming outta that fucker)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 31, 2009 8:03 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

hey if i was there i would let you hiss me anytime you want. yeah it is hard being just friends
(hiss me? wtf? )
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 31, 2009 7:59 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

jeesh luigi that is SO fuckin sweet!♥♥♥
i wanna fucking kiss u so bad at times.
its really hard trying to be friends.

(she might as well have said "and i wanna suck on ur inch penis too! maybe itll grow")
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 31, 2009 7:56 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

oh lolno problem i try to please the people who i love

(with ur inch penis?)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 31, 2009 7:51 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

oh lol i thougbht it was gonna be lijke something reallyb important lol...not that ur not important tyler its just that i thought it was gonna be MORE important lol.

thanx for the text babe.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 26, 2009 8:50 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

oh the babe thing?
idk...i write it every once in awhile for a guy i think is sweet...hehe yea i like u tyler...ur a great guy.

(KICK IN THE DICK! XD its like "oh u called me hun. thats cute" "yea i tell that to every girl. haha" XD thats just.. wow.. she probably didnt notice it but some lil things hurt. xD)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 26, 2009 7:23 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

wow you really do like me alot do you? lol thats not a bad thing thats REALLY REALLY good :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 26, 2009 5:45 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

hehe....it wont be to long from now babe lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 24, 2009 5:41 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

well i was hopeing you have free texting lol. And erica you are very beaytiful. no lie

(How To Tell Your Best Friend Attracks retards: They cant spell the simplest words. like he mis spelled Kiss and beautiful >_>)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 22, 2009 7:24 PM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

wow that must have been hell for you.
i dont think i would flirt wit anyone but my man if i was dating someone.
i would feel so guilty.
plus i was cheated on 1 time...it was so hard to go through i could nevva put someone else in that sort of pain.

(oh jesus! not again. she cheated on twinkky and her other bf. not including the fact she flirts with everyone when she has a bf .. just saying.)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 22, 2009 10:39 AM
Subject: RE: Re: RE

well you are special. you were always special to me. well i thought she wouldnt lie to me and she did, and come to find out she is a big flirt. so i cought her flirting with 2 other guys

(oh wow. 2 guys! while he was flirting to erica in the other messages while dating this chick. >_>)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 21, 2009 3:42 PM
Subject: RE:

well i understand erica and my feelings for you will never change. I gave you my phone number like 3 times already lol if you want to text when you get bord im here lol

(ok think about it. he gave his number to her 3 TIMES! get the hint buddy she dont wanna talk!)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 21, 2009 4:37 PM
Subject: RE:

yea ik im confusing.
i would really LOVE to date u or something....but it wont work.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luigi109
To: EricaExtreeeme^TM
Date: Mar 21, 2009 3:34 PM
Subject: RE:

oh alright then good enough for me lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: EricaExtreeeme^TM
To: Luigi109
Date: Mar 21, 2009 4:32 PM
Subject: RE:

oh i see.
well idk tyler.
its just that we r SO far away.
wat fun would that be?
i think friends would have to be enough cuz yea i like u ALOT and ur REALLY sweet and cute but it wont work that way.
maybe one day wen we live a lil closer.

Ah. this is what my best friend is all about. and im ok with it just cuz i get to critisize. xD but now im going to go to bed. The only place where i can be myself and be accepted. Ah never know maybe my dreams will come true in disney land.

(disney land should have a twilight thing. just cause id totally love um for it)

xoxo Maria <33

Team Jacob Black All the way betches!

Things are getting worst.. and its almost my birthday (only me >_

ok so this week has really began to suck. like... suck more then a hooker with a vaccumm. Its like ok my best friend did weed for the first time and i got really really mad. weed isnt cool.. at all. so i got mad. i ignored her for about 4 days. my dog was there to comfort me tho. and then i finally had enough of ignoring her so i told her how that mad me feel. come to find out she isnt happy with herself either. Im glad to hear that she knows she did something wrong and that she wont do it again. But my moms a douche bag so she wont let me see erica for awhile. Which is sad cuz my birthday is in 10 days. to my mom "awhile" Is more like 2 months. And then today my sister liz came home (which idk y since she left to sleep out anyways >_>) and my dog tried to bite her. i dont blame him. if i was a dog.. id bite her too. So my mom started yelling saying she was gonna give away the dog. may i tell u ive had that dog since june of 08 and well thats one of my best friends. I love that dog to death and when i heard that i just blew up. And then i started thinking of killing ppl (which doesnt normally happen..i think) and then idk i started crying alot. my family has been trying to make me cry and they found a way. Congrats dick heads. If my mom "puts him to sleep". i will never ever forgive her. right now im not talking to no one but my friends. cuz theyre not dick heads. I hate this week. My birthday is almost here and everyones being a real big cunt. and idk my birthdays just gonna suck. i could care less if i get coal wrapped in birthday paper. And im going to hell. sorry all u catholics and christians. but im afraid after this week i dont believe in anything. i prayed to god for my family to get closer.. and we drift apart even more. i asked for a good week. and it totally blowed asss. its either im praying to the wrong god. or he likes messing with me. Maybe he should like my pain a bit less. cuz its getting annoying. (please dont write about how theres a god and shoving ur religion down my throat. please. i do believe in god but right now its kinda tough to.)

The only thing i keep doing from keeping my mind off of things is re reading twilight. if only i have a werewolf or a vampire to take me away. gah. >_< i need something else tho. i already read the twilight series like 5 times. i need new books to read. and since i cant hang out with erica imma have to go to the library by myself (which i refuse to do). gah. My parents just dunno what its like to love something. Theyre all cold heartless ppl. My mom told me she hated me when i first started cutting. yea mom, thanks. imma cut some more then. my mom just thinks about everything but me. and i hate it. i really hope liz moves. and i hope my mom stops being a cunt cuz its really getting annoying. i hope that everything gets better. but the more i hope for things... the worst it gets.

Fukin aye.

UGH! i hate older sisters. I HATE UM! its almost fucking christmas and all shes crying over is her ex! WTF! Its like hes gone. Shes very pretty. Alot of guys want her. Why not go out and forget about him? NOOOO! she wants to talk to ME about me (i hate him btw. im glad hes gone. no really.. i am) She knows i cant help but make smart comments or rude comments about him. so she decides she wants to talk to me about him without the rude remarks. like LOL! like thats gonna happen. psh. Id be lucky not to think it never mind say it. So she told me shes still in love with him and she wants to be with him and He makes her happy and all this corny shit.

Theres a catch tho. No matter how much the truth hurts. What hurts me more is knowing hes cheating on her with multiple girls that SHOOT UP. That means they share needles. So hes gonna end up with aids some day. and shes gonna end up getting it. and im worried for her. Shes my older sis. But when she gets pissed off at random things. All i said to her was why not try going out with ur friends and getting ur mind off him. it was like a bomb went off. all of a sudden shes like WTF blah blah blah. Im sitting there like yea the truth hurts betch dont it.

But its like she was telling me he's her other half. i heard that line 52302513115.3222 times outta her mouth already. Its getting old. And like seriously she can doo soooooooo much better. Believe me. Hes so gross looking. he looks like he dont even take showers. its so disgusting. And then she has the intention of bringing up my past relationships. Believe me when i say this. I dont believe i need a guy to survive every day. With me its like wanna play games? NEXT! XD but seriously. i dont cry over guys. Maybe the first day then the next day im at the mall. having fun and shit. like how can one person be so attatched to a guy who doesnt wanna be with her? Like helllooooo the signs are there.

Her best friend nikki told my mom shes sick of telling liz hes cheating on her. Like wtf. ugh. i just needed to vent. cause its almost christmas. i dont need bullshit right now. Shes the one who keeps making herself more sadder. and its depressing. Shes really sad. Like i wouldnt get myself all sick over it. Hes not worth it. Most guys arent.

Buuutttt anyways. I know what im getting for christmas :D hahaha. i shouldnt but i do. well only some. My grams gave me 100 dollars and told me to go christmas shopping so i went to hot topic and bought stuff for myself xD And then ik im getting converses. and well a metro station t-shirt from my aunt :D

Hahaha its like 5 days til christmas. And ya kno what. Idc about bs.

SPEAKING of bs... Courtnie dates Josh.... >_< Yes.. courtnie dates josh. The kid ive known since my weird stages. the kid i liked for 3 years. went for the whore.. eh. w.e... his best friend is hooot tho xD

Mood: Weird Music: I kissed a girl -- katy perry

MERRY CHRISTMAS :D

(to ppl who text me.. phones shut off... sorry peeps)